An Open-Letter to Her Next Man

Love her.

Don’t wake her up kapag hindi pa nag-aalarm ‘yung cellphone n’ya. And give it at least three to five snoozes with five-minute intervals. ‘Wag mo rin itutok sa kanya ang aircon or yung electric fan. Ayaw n’ya nu’n. When you hug her, make sure na hindi mo nadidiinan ‘yung t’yan n’ya, hindi s’ya makakahinga. She snores. But don’t worry, it only happens when she’s too tired. Or when she’s drunk. And magigising na lang s’ya sa sarili n’yang snore.

Listen to her dreams. They may sound absurd at times, but you’ll see how creative her mind is. May meanings ‘yun for her. Try giving her your own interpretations. She’ll listen to them.

Cook for her. She’ll eat anything that’s fried. She loves Spam and corned beef. I-drain mo ‘yung oil ng corned beef and medyo sunugin mo. She’d love that with rice. Hayaan mo s’yang ubusin ‘yun. And when she’s done, may matitirang konti. It’s your time to eat. Don’t tell her to finish her food, dahil there’s a reason, hindi ko lang alam kung ano, kung bakit tinitira n’ya ‘yung last bite. At ‘wag na ‘wag kang maingay ngumuya.

Kung hindi ka naman makapagluto, try getting her a Baconator, Biggie Fries, Biggie Iced Tea and extra spaghetti. ‘Wag ka nang magtanong kung bakit may extra spaghetti. And by all means, get it. Kahit kailangan mong maglakad nang malayo, umakyat at bumaba ng 17 floors nang walang elevator at kahit hanggang dibdib pa ang baha.

Kung wala kang masyadong budget, try barbecue, hotdogs or popcorn.

Let her sing. And appreciate her voice. It’ll not be hard because alam naman ng lahat na maganda ang boses n’ya. She can sing anywhere. Sabayan mo na lang kung alam mo, but let her sing the beautiful parts. Aralin mo rin ‘yung mga duets na kanta. Para minsan, nasasabayan mo s’ya. Make sure na loaded ang Timezone card mo para habang naghihintay kayo ng movie sa Greenbelt 3, p’wede muna kayong mag-videoke.

Try memorizing all Disney songs. Para maka-relate ka sa mga random times na bigla na lang s’yang kakanta.

Malamang may kotse ka, so baka hindi mo ‘to mai-apply. Pero just in case may time na mag-tataxi lang kayo, mauna kang pumasok sa loob. She hates to scoot. Mauna ka at bilisan mo umurong para makapasok s’ya agad. Then you should sit nang tama lang para makasandal s’ya sa shoulders mo. Otherwise, sa window s’ya magle-lean. Kung gusto mo hawakan ang kamay n’ya, hawakan mo na agad. Kapag naka-p’westo na s’ya sa cab, maiinis s’ya ‘pag ginulo mo pa. Then firmly tell the driver na h’wag masyadong mabilis magpatakbo. She hates that, lalo na ‘pag maraming kasalubong na trucks. Kapag malapit na sa kanila, may mga humps na hindi makikita ng driver because of poor street lighting. Tant’yahin mo. Kapag tulog s’ya, sabihin mo na sa driver na may humps para hindi s’ya magising. Kung gising naman s’ya, hold her hands tight and i-enjoy n’yo pareho ‘yung paglipad ng taxi. It could be fun paminsan-minsan. ‘Wag kang lilipat sa harapan ng taxi sa tapat ng bahay nila. Hayaan mo munang makalayo nang konti bago ka lumipat.

When she drives, don’t put anything sa dashboard. Naguguluhan s’ya. Na-didistract s’ya. ‘Wag mong sabayan ‘yung mood n’ya sa daan. Masungit talaga ‘yan. Pero ‘pag inaantok s’ya, try starting a conversation. Or tell her a joke. Don’t let her drive alone ‘pag umuulan. She needs someone para hindi s’ya matakot. Hold her right hand and make her feel secured.

Let her write. Let her imagination fly. Magaling s’yang magsulat. Just jumpstart her thoughts. Tuluy-tuloy na ‘yun. Don’t argue with her grammar. Kung sakaling tagalog, baka makalusot ka pa.

Collect her drawings. She loves to doodle everywhere.

Mababaw ang luha n’ya sa kahit anong movie. Don’t watch her cry (but if you want to, just make sure na hindi ka n’ya mahuhuli). Don’t look at her in a way na maiilang s’ya. Watch tagalog movies with her. She loves to see them, wala lang s’yang kasama.

Watch Friends with her. Kahit ilang ulit na n’yang napanood lahat ng episodes, hindi s’ya nagsasawa. Make sure na meron kayong popcorn and be ready with a glass of water or Coke kapag gusto na n’yang uminom.

Kung may Nintendo DS ka, ‘wag kang magpapatalo sa Mario Kart. Kapag nanalo ka sa kanya, ibig sabihin magaling ka talaga. At least kahit paano, nadagdagan ‘yung reasons kung bakit she deserves someone like you.

Don’t disturb her while she’s working. If you can, help her. Kahit hindi mo naiintindihan, just bounce off ideas to her and she’ll know what to do. Paminsan-minsan, ipaalala mo rin sa kanyang kumain, dahil nakakalimutan n’ya ‘yun ‘pag sobrang dami ng trabaho.

Try to understand her work, her work schedule and her work habits. Dito mo makikita kung gaano s’ya ka-passionate. This could be tough. Just look at it this way, you wouldn’t want someone na tamad at walang ambisyon sa buhay, ‘di ba? So kahit abutin s’ya ng madaling-araw, wait for her. At ‘wag na ‘wag mo s’ya paglalakarin kung saan ka naghihintay. Make sure na nasa lobby ka na ng building nila ‘pag baba n’ya.

When you are taking her pictures, ask her first. She’ll say no. But then she’ll pose.

Don’t be late. Ok lang mauna ka sa kanya, pero ‘wag na ‘wag mo s’yang paghihintayin. Hate na hate n’ya ‘yun.

She wants to carry her own bag. Or bags. Or bags and plastics. Hindi naman ibig sabihin ‘nun, hindi ka gentleman. She just likes to carry everything kahit saan. But maybe at times, you can carry her laptop bag, ‘pag may dala s’ya.

‘Pag lumalabas kayo, and nakita mo si Phoemela Baranda, ‘wag mo nang sabihin sa kanya. Masisira lang ang gabi n’yo. And change the channels whenever Heart Evangelista is on TV.

Be spontaneous. Always look for new things. Makakatulong ang clickthecity.com at iba pang websites para madala mo s’ya kung saan-saan. Try going to Star City, Manila Zoo, Manila Ocean Park or even sa DJ booth ng Love Radio.

Kapag may chance na maligo sa ulan, do it. She’s never done that. And try writing a song about it. Together.

Don’t be an insecure man. Try to be something. Have goals. At isama mo s’ya sa goals na ‘yun. You’ll feel loved during your glorious moments. And you’ll feel na sobra s’yang proud sa’yo.

‘Wag na ‘wag mo s’yang sasakalin. Let her be herself. Let her have her own life. Don’t feel bad when she goes out with her friends without you or without even asking if you want to go. She needs time without you. Hindi dapat sa’yo lang umiikot ang buhay n’ya.

Trust her. And teach her how to trust.

Love her.

Unconditionally.

Mahalin mo lahat ng negative sa kanya. Embrace them. And doon mo mare-realize that all her imperfections make her the ideal woman, if not perfect.

Lastly, ‘wag kang gumawa ng Open Letter to Her Next Man, dahil sana… sana ikaw na ‘yung last.